Sanctity of Childhood

Yesterday my mom, Brad, and I took the girls to a puppet theater to see a production of Strega Nona. Being one of my favorite children's books, I was really looking forward to seeing it come alive. I remember being read this book while growing up and now I read it to my girls. The play was so well done and just hilarious! I love a good children's show that includes laughs for the adults.
I feel like that point has been trampled by writers for children's movies. I will not let my kids watch Shrek and I'm cautious in letting them see any movie by the same writers or producers. Anytime a joke is written in that only an adult would get because of its crude nature kills the movie for me. I looked up the word sanctity before including it in this title. It means holiness or godliness, something sacred. I believe there is something godly, holy, about the purity of childhood. Why taint that with a disgusting reference to lust or saying ass instead of using donkey? Children laugh when you laugh, they learn what humor is from adults. I want to preserve my daughter's purity in every way for as long as possible. Their purity of mind will keep them from traveling many harmful avenues in life.
One thing I love about visiting this theater is that the children's laughter is so audible :) In a movie theater, the volume is so loud you really just hear the movie. But when a puppet makes a joke, the kids roar with laughter and cheer for the puppet with clapping! It's so much fun! I hope my girls know how much I love their laughter and how important it is to laugh. I hope we have more fun times like yesterday, enjoying something for our whole family. Today I'm thankful for wholesome fun :)

Little Lauren nugget

Brad just reminded me of this very funny story so I had to jot it down while it was in the ole memory bank. We can't remember Lauren's exact age but I don't think she was quite 3. It was around the age where it's funny to teach them silly phrases that they have no idea what they mean but they'll say them over and over....so Brad taught Lauren "Mom! Meatloaf!" from Wedding Crashers. Not thinking this was hilarious or that Lauren would, I let it go. So she's in the cart as we're wheeling around Wal-Mart and she starts yelling at me "Mom! Meatloaf!!" and laughing hysterically, over and over what seemed like forever (probably 2-3 minutes)!!! I was so embarrassed but it cracks us up now :)

Lauren Nugget

We decided after this perfectly beautiful day to rent a movie and enjoy some ice cream while we watched it. So with Winnie the Pooh in hand from the RedBox, we drove to DQ for our treats. Usually when we drive past our old Hallmark shop, Lauren asks why she got frogs for her birthday. This refers to her African Swimming frogs on her dresser that were a gift on her 3rd birthday. I took her to Hallmark to pick out just the ones she wanted and they have lived happily ever after in her girl land ever since. After answering a million why questions, she starts telling us sometimes she wants to eat her frogs! Then reassures us she knows humans don't eat creatures....silly little girl :)

Veiled Romance

I kept hearing about Water for Elephants. Hearing people rave about the book then loving the movie so I reserved the movie at the library and just finished it. Wow, seriously? Our definition of romance has become an illicit affair that ends with a death and then happily ever after? I'm so sick of Hollywood glamorizing extramarital affairs. The majority of the movie is this woman teasing this other man while she's still married. Nothing romantic about that to me at all. And I wish more people would voice this opinion.
Let's look at real life since most of us aren't travelling with a circus and riding an elephant for our day job. Happily married couple becomes not so happy in the marriage. One person finds another. A second glance becomes a third, longer, gaze, and sin starts to run rampant. Why is temporary lust so powerful over our human flesh? And why is this becoming romance? Why has a lovely pure image of love that is a lasting marriage have to be tarnished with a movie that shows the ugly sinful affair for 95% of it? It does not include a string symphony in the background music. I'm sure none of us are running around in skimpy silk robes that veil sequined stringy leotards either. I'm sick of it, in case you couldn't tell. And of course, the elephant to the rescue to KILL the husband while he's trying to KILL his wife. What.a.romance.
Real love, in my humble opinion, is the everyday. Brad and I just had to sit down with a child and lay down the law today. We did it together. I love him for that. He loves me even though I'm gimping around the house right now with both my ankles about the sizes of apples. No sexy sway to these hips ladies and gentlemen.
I hope more movies will show that an investment in a struggling marriage results in greater happiness for that couple in the end. Show a husband and wife about to call it quits then finding help. And not with cheesy Growing Pains guy either. Please. You've made a vow before God in marrying someone. Value that.
In case you're in my area, some lovely wise friends are doing a seminar the evening of January 27th through January 28th designed to help couples on the edge. Here's the link: http://www.marriagesrestored.com/marriages/2012/01/marriages-restored-conference-at-fbc-warrensburg-mo.html  I encourage you to use this resource or find others like it.
Don't hear what I'm not saying. The movie portrays an abusive marriage and I DO NOT advocate women staying in that kind of situation. I'm against the betrayal that was portrayed while the marriage was still intact. In an abusive relationship? Get out. Get help. Then move on in life. Boy meets girl should not happen again while still with bad boy.
Feeling like I need to watch The Notebook....

Priorities

My my my how things have changed! The girls and I have been seizing some opportunities for adventure lately, going to the zoo Thursday and to Lee's Summit for some shopping yesterday and the pool today. Every now and then, I wake up with an itch to get out of the house so we'll pull on some clothes and hop in the car for a trip to Crown Center or Target or Hobby Lobby....just something we haven't seen in a while! Notice I said "pull on some clothes" and we leave. That means no shower, no makeup, no hair did....just go!
I remember college days and taking half hour showers, looking at every hair to make sure it was in it's place, enjoying my face time for makeup and now, we've got to get on the road and make every moment count when the meltdown is T-minus 3 hours away!!!
This is partly what I was talking about in my last post. I will not miss feeling like a crazy person trying to get 2 children, their snacks, their favorite toy for the trip, diapers, sippies, etc., in to the car so we can go, only to need to be back in the car by nap time. When we go to KC, we can usually get out of here by 9 or 930, then 40 minutes in the car....we get a solid 2 hours usually. BUT, the time we share is so precious. Their excitement to go to a "special place" (because if I told Lauren where we were going before we left, I'd get asked a million times on the trip if we're there yet followed by the "why?" for every answer there after) is palpable, including squeals of delight, jumping on the bed, and excited giggles :)
So I just tell myself, people will be focused on their glow of delight, not my bedhead and washed out face. This time in our life is flying. With Lauren already being 4, we have one more year of fun and fancy free living before we need to buckle down and start school. This is largely why I've chosen to homeschool for the time being. I just can not fathom giving up these moments. We will sit around our kitchen table for lessons, snuggle on the couch for reading time, then hit the road for more adventures, all while learning about God's world. The beauty of homeschooling is being able to see her face when she's learning, taking field trips regularly, watching the exploration become knowledge. Another opportunity I just can't give away to another person.
I hope my children feel loved in the midst of my sometimes hectic house cleaning or frenetic search for missing items so that that silly chore is out of the way. My wish for a maid, cook, gardener (only part time!), and personal assistant comes out of the desire to simply be my daughters' mommy. What a perfect world it would be with no chores, just fun. But while chores still exist, I will enjoy their little hands taking turns putting handfuls of laundry into the dryer and chubby fingers pushing buttons on the dishwasher to get it started so we can have days where that stuff piles up and we just enjoy whatever adventure awaits.

Thoughts on "Don't Carpe Diem"

http://momastery.com/blog/2012/01/04/2011-lesson-2-dont-carpe-diem/

This blog was posted by a few friends today on facebook and I loved it. I absolutely love her "what I will say as an old woman" quote as well.
What always comes to mind for me is the thought that once this is over, once my children are grown and I'm alone with my husband, should I no longer seize the day? Will I forever live in a space of missing my small children and wanting to be in the constant race from breakfast to homeschooling to lunch to nap time to more school work then snack, squeeze in some play, then sigh when Daddy gets home (only for a minute) because we've got an hour until we have to be out the door again....seriously?
Don't get me wrong, I am incredibly, beyond words, thankful that I have the opportunity to stay home with my children, nurture them and educate them, and make sure they are exposed to a handful of amazing extracurricular activities. Kairos moments occur daily in this house and they take my breath away, choke me up, and make my heart ache for them to never end. But...won't that happen, at least occasionally, when I'm sitting with my husband, thinking in that Kairos time frame, about how far we've come, the odds we've beat, the chance of a lifetime that I met him and actually followed through to marrying him....then staying married to him?!? I dream of the day when we'll relive some of our parenting moments as grandparents then wave goodbye to go to sleep in our quiet house while our daughters mother those sweet blessings. Dream.of.it....when I'm able to sleep that is ;) Because I really hope that Bradley and I will continue to be busy together. Busy doing activities we enjoy, spending time with mutual friends, and having adventures that aren't feasible with small children at home. I'm excited to be free-er to do spontaneous dates with girlfriends and with Bradley. To help out other people at a moments' notice because I'm not worrying about nap time or whether or not one of my kids will destroy the other person's home while we're visiting!
Keep in mind, I'm writing this at 9 p.m. on the 2nd night my husband has been away and I'm straight pooped. Plain worn out. Might even be in bed before 10 kind of tired. I love him and I miss him and I want him to come home.
On that note, I'll kiss my girls on their sweet sleeping heads before I flop in to bed and dream about the future tonight. Carpe posterus. Seize the future.

In His Hands

This momma got to go shopping today. Alone. At a mall. That included a craft store. Yes, heaven on Earth :) What in the world would I have to worry about?
If you struggle with anxiety like I do, you understand there are a million things I could be hung up on. Laying in bed last night, trying to fall asleep while knowing of this adventure, my mind started to drift. To dark places. I didn't fall asleep dreaming about the quiet of browsing through the floral department or the joy of looking at a row of pillows in Bed Bath and Beyond without a toddler dumping all her animal crackers on the floor. I shed tears over thinking about what could happen when all the people I deeply love are in the same vehicle without me. What my life would be like if I didn't have them because I wasn't in the car. Why I was choosing a shopping trip over spending time with them when it could be my last moments with them. Yes, exaggerated fear. Exactly the grip anxiety exhibits in my life.
I'm taking steps towards reclaiming my thoughts from fear. I'm talking about it, writing about it, and moving against it. When those thoughts come up, I redirect to prayer. I bring all of those fears to the feet of my Father and beg Him to have mercy in my life. To help me come up for air when those irrational thoughts are drowning me. And I go shopping anyway :) I only called Brad once to make sure they were safe and I prayed. A lot.
I hope my daughters will never struggle with anxiety like I do. Mine has gotten better and I hope one day it's no longer a battle in my mind. As for now, the thorn will keep bringing me to God, keep me in conversation with Him on a regular basis, and keep showing me He's a trustworthy guardian, gentle with my fragile state while still pushing me past it.

New Year's Resolution

I forgot. As a mom, I try to remember every word uttered from my children's mouths that makes me laugh or smile or my heart swell because it's the most precious thing they could ever say. I think my mom can remember every phrase I said until I was 7 that made her laugh. And I forgot.
When Lauren turned 4, we took away her binky. We talked about it a lot in the months leading up to her birthday and she knew that on October 15, 2010, she would suck her bink for the last time. She was ready and there was no arguing or crying or fussing...like magic :) I was fully prepared for tears and lots of comforting and reassuring her she was a big girl but instead, Brad and I looked at each other and told each other she was growing up. A few days after her birthday, she told us she missed it and that she really liked her binky so we talked about it, reminisced about the good old days when bedtime meant binky time, and she would go back to bed. One day she brought up how she had liked the way it tasted so I asked, "What did it taste like?". "It tastes like God". My sweet precious baby girl, at 4 years old, said one of the cutest things I'd ever heard her say! So of course I would remember it until the day I died...right? Wrong. With the busyness of life, it simply disappeared from my memories. At a New Year's Eve party this year, a friend brought up that little phrase and I almost cried because I had forgotten it.
Hence, a blog became a new year's resolution! Hopefully this will be a place where I can jot down those sweet words and thoughts that I think but, as a stay at home mom, don't regularly have someone around to tell them to. I hope some of you smile or think differently after reading what I write but it's mostly for me. So I can look back and be refreshed by the sweet blessings God has given me or be reminded of lessons God has loved me through.
This year holds a lot in it for our family. We will be saying good bye to Brad for a bit while he goes to AMS to become an officer, selling our home, joining my husband in Florida for 10 months while he completes tech school to become an air battle manager, following him to St. Louis for 3 months for his job training, then moving back to our little town to buy another home and go back to normal life. I don't want to forget this special time and I hope to journal a bit so I can look back. Hopefully this will become an "every few days" journal....